Wednesday, May 4, 2011

What makes you feel better?

I am getting tested for Multiple Sclerosis(MS) on Friday. Thankfully it is just a preliminary brain scan. If something shows up on it, then I will have to have the spinal tap. At least I don't have to have that tap first. So far, my symptoms are generally stumping every doctor we come in contact with. My latest neurologist is the one recommending the test for MS. I'm sorry all of my posts have been about medical issues. If I had something more interesting to talk about, I would. I have gotten out of the house a couple of time to visit my friend Sarah Denley and her precious family. What makes me feel better?? Babies. Honestly, they are such a balm to my soul. Besides doctor's appointments, that's about it!
Do you ever have some point that you are trying to convey and no matter how you say, nobody is understanding you? I feel like I'm speaking mandarin and everyone else is speaking english. Sometimes I say something and my parents look at me like, "duhhh.." It's so frustrating to not be understood. I have to weigh the costs of what I want to say, because, generally if I say it, it will start a fight. We do not communicate well. If I could have a clear conversation with them, it would be to say that I am doing the best that I can right now. It may seem that laying on the couch in my pajamas and not getting out the house is a little depressing and pathetic, but so far, that's all I can do. My body is so wrapped up in fighting all of the pain and autoimmune crap, that it leaves me with almost no energy for anything else. So I'm either dealing with pain or exhaustion 24/7, this makes me not care that I am in my pajamas all day. Who wouldn't want to be! I mean wearing a dress & curling my hair is nice in theory, but why do it to just lay around all day. This is where my parents and I begin to differ on opinions.
I promise I am working on a fun light-hearted post, but it is just taking more time to put together than me just writing a post, telling you what's on my heart.
So my title question was, "What makes you feel better?" Maybe it's prayer, or someone holding your hand, or a friend just coming over to chat, or a stuffed animal named Henry (oops, gave away my secret). I say hold on to those things that are precious to you. It's okay to do what you need to do, to feel better. Your body and your heart generally know without much thought, what it would take to make them feel better. Don't be afraid to trust that intuition and follow if (if that makes sense.)
Until later!

SA